Overcoming Shame
Shame is a complex and often hidden emotion that can exacerbate depression. It's the feeling of being unworthy, unlovable, and unacceptable, which can lead to self-blame, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. When we're struggling with depression, shame can be a significant obstacle to recovery. The following article will guide you through the impact of shame on depression and provide practical strategies for overcoming it.
Strategies for Overcoming Shame
There’s a difference between guilt and shame. With guilt, we feel “I DID something wrong”, but we can rectify this by apologising or forgiving ourselves. With shame, it becomes more core to identity – “I AM worthless, or dirty, or unlovable” and this can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair. Shame can also lead to self-isolation, which can exacerbate depression. The link between shame and depression is complex, but it's essential to address shame to recover from depression. The following is a list of practical steps that well help you recognise you negative impulses and address them effectively.
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. It's essential to recognise that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay not to be perfect. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or journaling to cultivate self-compassion.
2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can perpetuate shame. Notice when you're thinking critical thoughts about yourself and challenge them by reframing them in a positive and realistic light.
3. Seek Support
One thing that really feeds into shame is secrecy. We can feel like we’re carrying around a huge, awful secret and if anyone knew they would reject us. When you build up the courage to share your feelings with someone you trust this can help you feel heard, validated, and understood. You may be surprised to find the shame decreases when someone else knows and is still there for you.
4. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a process, and it may take time. Practice forgiving yourself and others for past mistakes and hurtful experiences.
Many people find that opening themselves up to God, with honesty, and exploring faith can lead them to experience a deep sense of being loved, forgiven and “ok to be imperfect”.
Overcoming shame is an essential step in recovering from depression. By practicing self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, seeking support, practicing forgiveness, and taking small steps, you can begin to heal from shame and depression.
If you a loved one are struggling with overwhelming feelings of shame, we encourage you to seek support from local groups, like ours at Depression & Hope. If you live in the Hunter region, you can contact us here and find a group near you.
Remember, recovery is possible, you are not Alone.